Sorry not to have written for over a week - although I'm not sure who I'm apologising to as I don't believe anyone is reading this yet. I know that blogging etiquette dictates daily updates but it's not every day that I have something to say. Hard to believe given the fact that I am "Woman with an Opinion", but some days I'm just too tired to care.
So Daughter has been to two parties and a "birthday tea" since I last wrote. Oh the social whirl of a 4 year old! The first of these was the joint princess party of two girls from school. Of course, as the Rules dictate, the entire class was invited so it was in a hall to accommodate. There was the obligatory entertainer and face painter and it all seemed so formulaic and dull. But then I'm not 4...
I tried to speak to a few of the mothers but was pretty much ignored until another "Child Abuser" (aka working mother) arrived and I had someone equally evil to talk to. I had never met this particular mum before (unsurprisingly I guess as we don't spend much time at school) but she was friendly and warm and as bemused as me at the hostility of the "Self-Sacrificers" (aka stay at home mothers).
The next social outing was the birthday tea of a girl whose actual birthday party we would be attending three days later. The tea was for a select group of very close friends and was on the day of the birthday itself, after school. It was very nice. I even managed to get home from work in time for the end. The girls played together and then had supper followed by birthday cake and crisps. The Self-Sacrificing Mother of the birthday girl (a former lawyer in a large City firm) said, with a sigh, how she wished that she could have just done this and not bothered with the big party which was happening on Sunday. I asked her exactly who was insisting on the big party? Certainly not the 5 year old daughter! I was met with a frosty silence. I, being a Child Abuser, clearly didn't understand or appreciate the duties of motherhood.
What amazes me is not that successful women give up work when they have children - I do understand that. Not everyone is as lucky as me. I have a fantastic job which I love and which I can fit around motherhood and so I don't feel like I am abandoning my children or missing out on their childhoods. It is not that easy to achieve this type of balance in a lot of careers and so I can see how for many women who can afford not to work there is simply no choice to make. They don't need the money, they can't fulfil their work ambitions and still have a proper family life and so giving up their jobs is the obvious choice. What I find incredible, however, is that there is such hostility to women like me.
Or maybe it's not women like me - maybe it's just me!
Sunday 22 November 2009
Friday 13 November 2009
Brat child
So darling daughter is going to another fucking Princess Party at the weekend. We're all crippling ourselves financially to send our daughters to the best goddamn school in the country to give them the opportunity to become what? Neurosurgeons? Lawyers? Scientists? No, apparently they all just want to be Princesses and to marry Handsome Princes. Still, I guess it's early days. They are only turning 5 after all and there's a long way to go before they grow up into the real deal. I pray to God that my intelligent, feisty, independent little ball of energy doesn't turn into some simpering fool waiting for some man to come along and rescue her that's all...
So anyway, I succumb to the pressure (yes, I'm all mouth and no trousers - or perhaps all frills and no knickers?) and take the little Princess off to Brent Cross to buy a costume for this splendiferous event. After all, her old costume is now torn and too small for her and that just won't do - what kind of handsome prince would want to rescue a princess in a too tight torn outfit after all?
I decide that the best costume is Snow White. So lovely against her pale skin, dark hair and blue eyes and at least it's not pink. As I am walking over to the till with it, I see that I am being followed by a screaming banshee dragging a vile bubble gum pink sleeping beauty costume across the floor going hysterical that she wants that one. What do I do? Stand my ground? Tell her calmly but firmly that she is having the Snow White or nothing at all? No. Lily livered pathetic excuse of a woman that I really am, I look sheepishly at the assistant and hand over both dresses thinking that I can have the argument at home. The devil child stops crying instantly, smiles up at me as if to say - I may be small, I may be your daughter, but I WILL ALWAYS GET WHAT I WANT. I guess that bodes quite well for her future after all...
So anyway, I succumb to the pressure (yes, I'm all mouth and no trousers - or perhaps all frills and no knickers?) and take the little Princess off to Brent Cross to buy a costume for this splendiferous event. After all, her old costume is now torn and too small for her and that just won't do - what kind of handsome prince would want to rescue a princess in a too tight torn outfit after all?
I decide that the best costume is Snow White. So lovely against her pale skin, dark hair and blue eyes and at least it's not pink. As I am walking over to the till with it, I see that I am being followed by a screaming banshee dragging a vile bubble gum pink sleeping beauty costume across the floor going hysterical that she wants that one. What do I do? Stand my ground? Tell her calmly but firmly that she is having the Snow White or nothing at all? No. Lily livered pathetic excuse of a woman that I really am, I look sheepishly at the assistant and hand over both dresses thinking that I can have the argument at home. The devil child stops crying instantly, smiles up at me as if to say - I may be small, I may be your daughter, but I WILL ALWAYS GET WHAT I WANT. I guess that bodes quite well for her future after all...
Tuesday 10 November 2009
School Mother from Hell
Well as you have probably gathered from my last post, there are some pretty hardcore mothers at my daughter's school. Yesterday my views about one particular mother (I shall call her Ruby) were confirmed when I received a text message from another (very lovely) school mum who, like me, is also a lawyer. The message said "... have had a rota crisis with "Ruby" so can we discuss tonight as am currently at work. I am a tad stressed!".
Ruby and "lovely working mum" (LWM) had a rota for collecting their daughters from school although frequently LWM was at work so her nanny collected the girls instead when it was her day to collect. What happened yesterday was that Ruby phoned LWM whilst LWM was in a meeting and started screaming abuse at her down the phone to the effect that she had been told by another mother that LWM's nanny let Ruby's daughter sit in the front seat and that she would not be standing for that or continuing to do a rota with LWM. She then went on to say that LMW clearly didn't care about her own daughter or her safety as she went to work.
Ever since my daughter started nursery school there has been what can only be described as a cold war between the working mums and the stay at home mums with the stay at home mums being so self-righteous about the sacrifices they had made to be there for their children. Funny thing is that the majority of these martyrs have an array of live-in staff, cleaners, nannies and mother's helps to care for their little angels whilst they can then concentrate on terrorising those of us who actually go out to work for a living...
Ruby and "lovely working mum" (LWM) had a rota for collecting their daughters from school although frequently LWM was at work so her nanny collected the girls instead when it was her day to collect. What happened yesterday was that Ruby phoned LWM whilst LWM was in a meeting and started screaming abuse at her down the phone to the effect that she had been told by another mother that LWM's nanny let Ruby's daughter sit in the front seat and that she would not be standing for that or continuing to do a rota with LWM. She then went on to say that LMW clearly didn't care about her own daughter or her safety as she went to work.
Ever since my daughter started nursery school there has been what can only be described as a cold war between the working mums and the stay at home mums with the stay at home mums being so self-righteous about the sacrifices they had made to be there for their children. Funny thing is that the majority of these martyrs have an array of live-in staff, cleaners, nannies and mother's helps to care for their little angels whilst they can then concentrate on terrorising those of us who actually go out to work for a living...
Friday 6 November 2009
The School Rules
1. You must invite every child in the class to your child's birthday party. It would be just too upsetting for a child not to be invited. - Hang on a minute, how the hell would a 5 year old child know she hasn't been invited to a party unless her parents tell her!!! Most of the kids' parents can't even be bothered to ferry them to every party anyway so what the hell is wrong with your child just inviting her friends? Worked for us back in the day when we lived in a free country.
2. You must not bring a gift as no-one wants a load of cheap presents (a load of presents because we have to invite the whole f"cking class!!!). Instead, please put between £7.50 and £10 in an envelope and then the parents of the "oh so lucky birthday girl" can buy her something really nice. Words actually fail me on this one!!!!
3. You must not go to work. This is partly because your child(ren) need ferrying to every single extra curricular activity on the planet and because the school needs volunteers for the school bonfire, the school fete, the making of school costumes, the school book sale, the school open day... - For this rule read "You must not have a life of your own"
4. You must not see the irony in the fact that you are spending thousands of pounds or moving house or cheating the catchment system or going to church weekly to educate your daughter in the best school you could manage to get her into so she too can have a fantastic career and a life she will think (from your example) she must give up after having children.
2. You must not bring a gift as no-one wants a load of cheap presents (a load of presents because we have to invite the whole f"cking class!!!). Instead, please put between £7.50 and £10 in an envelope and then the parents of the "oh so lucky birthday girl" can buy her something really nice. Words actually fail me on this one!!!!
3. You must not go to work. This is partly because your child(ren) need ferrying to every single extra curricular activity on the planet and because the school needs volunteers for the school bonfire, the school fete, the making of school costumes, the school book sale, the school open day... - For this rule read "You must not have a life of your own"
4. You must not see the irony in the fact that you are spending thousands of pounds or moving house or cheating the catchment system or going to church weekly to educate your daughter in the best school you could manage to get her into so she too can have a fantastic career and a life she will think (from your example) she must give up after having children.
Thursday 5 November 2009
So I was wondering...
... how long it will take before I get my first comment. Or maybe I'll never get one. It's fine just sitting here writing into space, but it would be nice to think that someone out there may read my musings one day and find them interesting. So what to write about today? Well apart from having to completely shaft a work colleague (that's a whole other story which I may tell you about another day), today has been fairly uneventful - other than having to deal with a total meltdown by my 4 year old daughter at 7 o'clock this morning and having to use a combination of bribery and trickery to get her out of the house and onto the school bus that is.
Going back to what I was saying before about getting my first comments - I actually gave the URL for this blog to a very old friend (old in time rather than years I hasten to add as he is only a year older than me and I am but a spring chicken) in the hope that he would read it and write my inaugural comment. I haven't told anyone else how to find this blog as I don't know what I may end up saying and about whom so I thought it would be safer that way. Anyway, this old friend has either read the blog and found it unworthy of comment, or couldn't be bothered to read it. Either way, it's a bit disappointing. Ah well...
Going back to what I was saying before about getting my first comments - I actually gave the URL for this blog to a very old friend (old in time rather than years I hasten to add as he is only a year older than me and I am but a spring chicken) in the hope that he would read it and write my inaugural comment. I haven't told anyone else how to find this blog as I don't know what I may end up saying and about whom so I thought it would be safer that way. Anyway, this old friend has either read the blog and found it unworthy of comment, or couldn't be bothered to read it. Either way, it's a bit disappointing. Ah well...
Wednesday 4 November 2009
Why don't MPs go and vet and bar themselves!
Today I want to talk about the ISA and how afraid I am of the encroachment of the State into all our homes and lives.
First I want to direct you to an article by Jenni Russell that was in the Sunday Times
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/guest_contributors/article6898212.ece)
I could not agree with her more. There is absolutely no way that risk can be eradicated but unfortunately since the explosion of 24 hour news and the extension of the media into online services as well as newspapers, journalists are under greater pressure to find 'news' to report and to make stories and so everything that happens is blown up by the media creating mass hysteria which then leads to crazy legislation like this. Something must be done and I am desperate to campaign about it but don't know where to start. People's concern for their children's welfare is so great that if they are told there's a bogeyman around every corner they don't want to take the risk - any risk - of their children meeting him. I believe in a free press but until journalists and news corporations take some responsibility for the monster they have created, I fear that the Big Brother society will get bigger not smaller. It is a tragedy for the children who will not enjoy the freedoms of childhood that we enjoyed and it is a tragedy for us parents who are made to feel fear at every turn.
The vetting of parents, volunteers, and indeed anyone and everyone who may come into contact with children and "vulnerable adults" is not only wrong, but it will also be totally ineffective. I care less about the adults who are to be vetted than I do about a whole generation of children who are being deprived of a normal childhood because of the State's ridiculous attempts to make the world a "risk free" place. It is not risk free, it can never be risk free and indeed it should not be risk free. Risk is a part of life and learning how to manage risk is a fundamental part of growing up. The press must stop whipping up fear and the State must stop having knee jerk reactions to every reported case thinking that legislation is what the public wants. I have spoken to so many people about this and not one person I have spoken to thinks that all this vetting is a good idea or that it will even achieve what it seeks to achieve. Without exception, people feel that it will further erode childhood and is a further unnecessary invasion into people's lives.As for how useful it will be - well it would not have stopped Vanessa George!
As the title of my post says - I think that the MPs who came up with this insane idea should vet and bar themselves!!
First I want to direct you to an article by Jenni Russell that was in the Sunday Times
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/guest_contributors/article6898212.ece)
I could not agree with her more. There is absolutely no way that risk can be eradicated but unfortunately since the explosion of 24 hour news and the extension of the media into online services as well as newspapers, journalists are under greater pressure to find 'news' to report and to make stories and so everything that happens is blown up by the media creating mass hysteria which then leads to crazy legislation like this. Something must be done and I am desperate to campaign about it but don't know where to start. People's concern for their children's welfare is so great that if they are told there's a bogeyman around every corner they don't want to take the risk - any risk - of their children meeting him. I believe in a free press but until journalists and news corporations take some responsibility for the monster they have created, I fear that the Big Brother society will get bigger not smaller. It is a tragedy for the children who will not enjoy the freedoms of childhood that we enjoyed and it is a tragedy for us parents who are made to feel fear at every turn.
The vetting of parents, volunteers, and indeed anyone and everyone who may come into contact with children and "vulnerable adults" is not only wrong, but it will also be totally ineffective. I care less about the adults who are to be vetted than I do about a whole generation of children who are being deprived of a normal childhood because of the State's ridiculous attempts to make the world a "risk free" place. It is not risk free, it can never be risk free and indeed it should not be risk free. Risk is a part of life and learning how to manage risk is a fundamental part of growing up. The press must stop whipping up fear and the State must stop having knee jerk reactions to every reported case thinking that legislation is what the public wants. I have spoken to so many people about this and not one person I have spoken to thinks that all this vetting is a good idea or that it will even achieve what it seeks to achieve. Without exception, people feel that it will further erode childhood and is a further unnecessary invasion into people's lives.As for how useful it will be - well it would not have stopped Vanessa George!
As the title of my post says - I think that the MPs who came up with this insane idea should vet and bar themselves!!
Tuesday 3 November 2009
The last post was a bit downbeat wasn't it?
I've just come back from having been out for a spontaneous dinner with my husband and have popped back in to have a quick look at my new blog before going to bed. Reading that first post again with fresh eyes, it looks very sad :-(.
Funny thing is, I wasn't feeling sad when I wrote it which I guess goes to prove that what comes out of my mouth (or in this case my fingers) doesn't always give a true image of the emotions within. Maybe that's true of most people...
I'm sitting here now wondering why I decided to start a blog. I think the trigger was going to see Julie and Julia at the cinema last week. I didn't actually think it was a very good film but I was quite intrigued by the fact that the Julie character (who is based on a real life blogger) actually had so many people interested in what she had to say that she eventually had a film made about her. I don't have such lofty ambitions, but my interest in blogging was piqued again when I read an article about how blogs are giving ordinary women a voice where they otherwise don't have one. I have to admit, I have never actually felt like I don't have a voice (I have a pretty powerful one), but I do sometimes feel like a very square peg in a very round hole around my friends and acquaintances.
I have always been extremely interested in politics - not party politics but "issues". I have always had very strong views about things and have wanted to stand up and be counted. I have never been afraid to put my head above the parapet and to voice what others may be thinking but are too afraid to say. I don't like to be told what to do and I don't like to follow the crowd if I don't agree with what the crowd are doing. I differ greatly from the majority of people I know in that regard and I guess I am hoping that a few like minded souls out there will discover my blog and that I will find some kindred spirits.
So on that note, I will leave cyberspace and head up to bed, wondering how long I will need to blog for before I get my first comment!
Funny thing is, I wasn't feeling sad when I wrote it which I guess goes to prove that what comes out of my mouth (or in this case my fingers) doesn't always give a true image of the emotions within. Maybe that's true of most people...
I'm sitting here now wondering why I decided to start a blog. I think the trigger was going to see Julie and Julia at the cinema last week. I didn't actually think it was a very good film but I was quite intrigued by the fact that the Julie character (who is based on a real life blogger) actually had so many people interested in what she had to say that she eventually had a film made about her. I don't have such lofty ambitions, but my interest in blogging was piqued again when I read an article about how blogs are giving ordinary women a voice where they otherwise don't have one. I have to admit, I have never actually felt like I don't have a voice (I have a pretty powerful one), but I do sometimes feel like a very square peg in a very round hole around my friends and acquaintances.
I have always been extremely interested in politics - not party politics but "issues". I have always had very strong views about things and have wanted to stand up and be counted. I have never been afraid to put my head above the parapet and to voice what others may be thinking but are too afraid to say. I don't like to be told what to do and I don't like to follow the crowd if I don't agree with what the crowd are doing. I differ greatly from the majority of people I know in that regard and I guess I am hoping that a few like minded souls out there will discover my blog and that I will find some kindred spirits.
So on that note, I will leave cyberspace and head up to bed, wondering how long I will need to blog for before I get my first comment!
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